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'I definitely get more than I
give'
For the last six months a group of about 15 women has been meeting
monthly for dinner in a Los Angeles-area restaurant. To a casual observer, the
women--mostly professionals such as teachers or business people--look like old
friends sharing an evening out.
In fact, they are friends. But they also share a common
experience_all have undergone or will soon undergo high-dose chemotherapy and a
BMT for breast cancer. Group members range from pre-transplant to four years
post-transplant.
"For us it is almost like a celebration each time we get
together," says Ricky Stouch, who founded the group with Kathleen Morell after
a mutual friend had a recurrence of breast cancer and they wanted to share
their experiences. "We enjoy each other's company." Stouch and Morell had been
in a breast cancer support group together before their treatment.
After her transplant, Morell says she didn't know too many people
who had been through a BMT. She went back to her support group and found that
it no longer fulfilled her needs. "Their issues were different," she says.
"I needed a place to collect my thoughts, ask questions and not
worry about frightening people who were close to me; I needed not to feel alone
in my struggle," Morell recalls.
The group, which has grown through word-of-mouth, meets from about
6 to 9 p.m. "There always seems to be somebody new. When you have something
like this, people come out of the woodwork, especially when it's rare."
Recently the group decided to establish a hotline, in which two members are on
call each month to talk to patients who are about to have a transplant. These
BMT candidates are also invited to dinner.
The group does not use a facilitator, and just recently began to
invite speakers for the last hour of the meeting. A nurse who works for an
oncologist comes to get information so she can pass it on to other patients.
Recently, Dr. John Glaspy of UCLA offered to find funding to help with the cost
of the dinners.
"We talk about the latest topics regarding breast cancer. There is
a lot of comparing notes," Stouch says. For example, through conversation the
women discovered that many of them were having pains in their hands, feet and
knees. They later learned that arthritic symptoms are common after some types
of chemotherapy. They also talk about sexual issues. "Since we are all women,
we can do that more easily," Stouch says.
"The first time we met we started talking about our
daughters," Stouch recalls. "We got to share how hard it has been on our kids_
how guilty we feel that we have put them through all this. It was really
special."
Stouch and Morell believe in belonging to a support group. "If
this wasn't available I would remain in a breast cancer support group," Morell
says. "I am a year post-transplant and my life is better than ever. I need
people to see that. You have no idea how good it feels to tell people that this
can be successful. I definitely get more than I give." |
