SuperSibs! Aims to Help Families

by Jan Sugar

SuperSibs! is a new nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting the needs of the siblings of young cancer patients. Started by a passionate mother and experienced business woman, Melanie Goldish, it is an organization that is so "right" that it seems like it should have always been here.

The idea for SuperSibs! came when Melanie's sons, Travis and Spencer, received a package in the mail from a friend. In it were two full-sized trophies. There was one for Travis, six years old at the time and recovering after a bone marrow transplant for a rare form of leukemia, and an equally large trophy for Spencer, age five at the time, which said what a loving brother he was. Spencer lit up, and his reaction wasn't lost on Melanie." He felt so proud that someone recognized his role in all this," she says.

Although Melanie and her husband, Joe, took great pains to make sure Spencer got extra attention and had fun while his brother was being treated for leukemia, they found that he needed something more. She voiced her concern in a journal entry she made to update people about Travis' illness on the their family's web site.

After all we've been through this past year, probably one of the biggest and most painful eye-openers for us was watching how frightening, heartbreaking and anger-producing cancer/bone marrow transplant could be on the sibling of a patient. For us, it was the feeling of helplessness as little Spencer was pulled along … again and again and again. Suddenly, all the attention was on Travis; we were known as Travis' mom and dad; gifts and cards and mail poured in for Travis; and hours on end were spent with Travis at doctor appointments, many of which Spencer attended, both here at the hospital 30 minutes away as well as in Milwaukee. Spencer was uprooted out of his preschool and moved into a new school in a new city where he knew no other children, living in temporary housing at the Ronald McDonald House, all the while watching the horrors of his brother getting poked, prodded, medicated, getting thinner, getting bloated and moody.

"Although SuperSibs! was born out of a very personal place," says Melanie, "I recognized a business need - a void in services to help families heal. I looked at our family and after conducting further research, I knew, 'someone's got to do this.' "

So Melanie assembled a talented crew of philanthropists and business leaders to help her navigate the best way to meet SuperSibs!' mission and to ensure a strong landing as it goes nationwide.

Its plans are these: to reach 500 siblings in the Chicago and Milwaukee areas in 2003; 3,000 children in this region and other parts of the nation in 2004; and 5,000 children nationwide in 2005. Eventually, SuperSibs! hopes to have national chapters and reach over 10,000 children each year.

Children 4 to 18 are eligible for services that will support them during extremely challenging times. These services include journals that encourage children to pen their hopes, dreams, questions and fears; trophies that recognize the strength, courage and love that siblings provide; handmade Smilecards to bring joy through the mail; hospital parties and events to honor and delight the siblings; and written guides to help siblings understand that they're not alone and provide tips to help manage the conflicting emotions they may experience. In addition there will also be guides for parents, friends and family, teachers and medical professionals. Later this year, SuperSibs! will launch a scholarship program for eligible "supersib" high school seniors.

"It brings tears to my eyes," says Melanie, "to be able to make something positive come out of something so horrific."

One SuperSib confirmed the power of this new organization recently when she said simply, "This is the greatest thing because it is my group."

"Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed citizens to change the world. Indeed it has never been done otherwise," said the anthropologist Margaret Mead. Melanie, Joe, Travis, now 10, and Spencer, now 9, along with the talented group of people committed to the cause she so accurately identified, are, indeed, changing the worlds of brothers and sisters of kids with cancer.

Melanie's entry in 2000 concludes that there are three heroes in their journey: Travis, his donor and Spencer. As if all parents who make this unasked for journey aren't already heroes enough, Melanie Goldish, and the work she's doing for the unsung brothers and sisters, should add herself to the list.

To reach SuperSibs! call toll free at 866-444-SIBS (7427); in Illinois at 847-705-SIBS (7427); or visit their web site www.supersibs.org which will be live beginning March 17.

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