A Firefighter Who Never Gives Up
At a high point in her career in 1997, when Patty Traina had just
become the first woman to win the Hillsborough County Firefighter of the Year
Award, she was diagnosed with Stage IV non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Her doctor told
her if she had anything left she wanted to do, she'd better do it because
nothing could be done to help her.
She fired him.
"The only thing I knew right then was that I wanted to surround
myself with positive people," says Patti. She hired a new doctor and with the
support of her family and work place, and the marrow of her sister, Patti had
an allogeneic bone marrow transplant.
Now she's asked to speak all the time and is the spokesperson for
Florida Blood Services. Patti has a story to tell and many messages to share.
One is to encourage people to become donors, that her sister's blood is the
reason she's alive today. Another of the messages has to do with the same thing
that drove Patti to find a doctor who believed that she could be well: to find
the places that support and nurture, to remove yourself from those that don't,
and to dismiss the many comments that lack tact and grace.
"People say lots of silly things and insincere stuff, probably
because they don't know what to say" says Patti. "They say it's God's plan, or
it can't be that bad. They say they'll be there for you, then they're not. It
hurts, but there's so much of the other available if you move beyond that."
What 35-year-old Patti had beyond the awkward comments was her
husband Donald, who was always with her and never lost faith, and her children,
Joseph, then 11, and Phoebe, then 9.
"We involved the kids in all aspects of my recovery and we stayed
positive with them," says Patti. "Some of the people I had chemo with didn't
have such good work or family support."
A woman who lived and breathed her job as a firefighter, Patti had
to think about what she might do next because even her most positive doctor
felt that she would not be able to physically or cognitively handle the demands
of firefighting when she was finished with treatment. So while she was
recovering, Patti trained as a paramedic.
During her absence from the fire department, her work mates
continued to visit, bring food, make sure the family had what it needed and
keep her updated. And, with a great recovery and an emergency medical
technician certification in hand, Patti Traina went back to the Hillsborough
County Fire Department two-and-a-half years after she left. She was again a
firefighter and now also a paramedic.
"Sometimes I'm in the rescue car and sometimes I'm driving the
engine," Patti says.
One year later, the woman who was told that she'd need a new
career, was promoted to lieutenant. "There was never an option not to go back,
it's just part of me," she says.
Fire departments are communities, with all the myths, lore and
stories that all communities have. Legend has it in the Hillsborough Fire
Department that any time a shift decides to make spaghetti and steak on the
grill, there will be a fire. "It's true," says Patti, "And what's even stranger
is that we can save someone's life in three minutes, but we take half the shift
to figure out what to have for dinner."
Patti's second family at work became even more important to her in
April of this year when her beloved Donald died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Joseph and Phoebe are now 16 and 14 and the three of them have banded together
to support each other through their loss. "I tell my kids as in my work, not
one person alone can make the show run, but the three of us collectively can
get through this," says Patti. "That's my definition of synergy."
Again, Patti received support from her work mates as they worked
her shifts so that she could be paid over the several months she was on leave
after Donald died.
While the shock and loss of Donald has shaken her, there are good
things-roses, as Patti calls them-that bloom in her life, too. Even at this
time.
Patti was just accepted to carry a large private life insurance
policy.
"That's a huge thing to me, because the mental goes along with
the physical." says Patti. "Even though you think you're doing okay, you need
that outside validation ."
And although Patti calls her former self an in-your-face and
didn't look at all sides kind of gal, now young recruits want to be her
partner.
"I am a different person than the one I was before, a better
person and better caregiver," says Patti. "I do right by my patients because
now I understand that although the circumstances are different each time,
that's me lying there."
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